My husband loves someone else, but lives with me. These signs indicate that the husband has fallen in love with another How to save a family if the husband has fallen in love with another

Dolgopolova M.

I am 38 years old, my husband is 40. We have been together for 20 years and have four desired children.

There was always a trusting relationship in the family. As for love, I probably loved more, but he allowed it. Over time, feelings dulled, everyday and financial issues began to simply overwhelm us. And the bed turned into a place to sleep. Recently I noticed that he has changed. I realized that another one had appeared. I asked the question directly, and received the answer: “Yes, I fell in love. She is so wonderful, all-understanding, she awakened the man in me! It’s your own fault: I haven’t felt your love and affection for a long time.” Well, everything like that.

At first I wanted to kick me out, but he asked not to let me go, said that he wanted to save the family, that he needed us, and continued to shift the cold blame onto me. I repented, yes, I’m guilty, I’m ready to start all over again, I’ll try to hear my man. Then he left (he works in another city, she lives there). He calls every day, sometimes we exchange a few phrases...

I know that he also calls her, communicates with me somehow distantly, seemingly affectionately, but I feel her presence in our lives. He is not going to leave us, he even plans to move us to the city where he works, so that we will always be close. BUT! Having shifted all the blame onto my shoulders, he doesn’t even worry about losing me! He behaves as if I pushed him into bed with someone else. Speaking about her, he is absolutely not worried about the suffering that he causes me. He doesn’t try to make amends, even in a banal sense: there are gifts, flowers...

In this regard, I have a question: is it necessary to save the marriage, does he need me, based on his behavior? What kind of behavior is this anyway? And, it’s corny, what should I do?

Hello!
It’s hard to cope with betrayal, I sympathize with you.

What kind of behavior is this anyway? And, it’s corny, what should I do?

Dolgopolova M.

We sleep, and passions run wild, as they once did before. In bed, every time he says that he loves him, he repents, and asks for forgiveness. Our children are different, but I can’t support them on my own, only myself. He loves children, although I always told him that if anything happens, the children will stay with him, that is, even now I will not take them away from him. But he holds me, why, I don’t understand?! Well-established life, but even there (according to him, she’s a super housewife, she has an apartment, etc.). Maybe he still loves him (he was never very verbose), he’s just confused (he says so himself)!

Maybe he still loves him (he was never very verbose), he’s just confused (he says so himself)!

Dolgopolova M.

Children vary in age from 2 to 17 years. There is only one marriage, and we are married. The affair brought passion into our relationship, but I think he is trying to compare us, to make sure that he can get everything he wants at home. Or maybe he sleeps with me and thinks about her. Now he is far away. Every day he says that he is confused, that he wants to run away from everything, that he himself does not know what to do. I feel like he wants to leave me, but he’s probably waiting for my decisive action. And I'm going crazy! Now I don’t even ask if he communicates with her: I don’t want to. But judging by his torment, no. Yes, I love him, but I absolutely don’t understand: should I help him overcome this (as he asks) and suffer myself, or let him go (as apparently he wants) and suffer again? In general, I understand that only I must make the decision.

Rare relationships between a man and a woman can be called easy, uncomplicated. It’s not for nothing that they say: where feelings begin, logic ends there. Everything seems to be fine, family, children, a well-established life together, a joint vacation, and so on. What more could you want? And what else do you need?

And then, like a bolt from the blue, betrayal bursts in, and not just betrayal for the sake of sex, but out of great and pure love. The relationships in the love triangle are very complex; there are three main characters on stage - she, he and she. So what is the right thing to do? How to understand this difficult situation? Many women ask these, and not only, questions, but to be honest, the most important question is: how to return the man you love, how to return love? That love that was there when we first met!?

I think he's cheating on me...

Sooner or later, every woman has such thoughts; in some cases they may not be justified, but sometimes they turn out to be true. Unfortunately, the presence of a stamp in a passport, an oath, is not a guarantee that a man will always love his wife, and most importantly, will be forever devoted and faithful. This only happens in fairy tales, and with very rare exceptions.

In real life, everything is different; over the years of marriage, many women are faced with their husband falling in love with another woman, and, accordingly, cheating. But you shouldn’t rush headlong into the pool; first of all, you need to make sure that your fears and suspicions are justified. And not mere speculation - after all, we young ladies can be very impressionable. So what are the signs of falling in love?

Each situation and family is unique, each man has his own character and his own attitude to life, values, etc. But still, in most cases, male love manifests itself in the same way, only some nuances appear. As psychologists say, falling in love can be with a woman in an open or closed relationship.

An open relationship implies the wife's knowledge of the presence of some young lady with whom her husband is connected through work, interests, children's friendship, etc. They are forced to spend time together, and periodically the husband and wife discuss their joint affairs and achievements.

Closed relationships are hidden from the wife; she cannot assume her husband’s passion. The husband himself is silent and does not reveal the presence of a girlfriend with a single word. In each case, the signs of falling in love are slightly different.

Signs of open love

In this case, the husband can’t get his girlfriend off his tongue. In discussing general achievements at work or a hobby, exclusively the contribution of the passion is discussed. In conversation all you can hear is: “Irochka this...”, “Irochka that...”. As a result of the conversation, more is known not about the successes in the affairs of her husband or the general company, but about the personal successes of “Irochka”.

There is also a second side to the coin; people can speak negatively about “Irochka”. Sometimes a husband can tell how bad she is, but at the same time remember her every half hour. We can say that this is a sincere attempt to protect himself from feelings for “Irochka”, or a deliberate deception - so that no suspicions arise.

Every woman should be wary of the fact when her husband meets, brings, takes and meets “Irochka” outside of working hours. Fears can be in vain only if the husband is a personal driver and this is his job. Although in this situation there may be suspicions.

Of course, you can justify your husband with his kindness and gallantry, but if the husband does not find time to go to the grocery store and do his household chores, then everything is clear. This is already a clear concern for another woman to the detriment of his own wife and family.

It is worth paying attention to constant SMS, private calls and correspondence on the Internet. Especially if the correspondence on social networks is under provocative pictures with subtle hints, or the correspondence contains gentle emoticons. In this case, you need to be wary.

It is especially alarming when meetings with “Irochka” take place to the detriment of the relationship with his wife. For a better understanding: for example, a cultural vacation was planned, but suddenly, my husband needed to urgently leave for work, urgently meet and discuss some matters.

It would seem that everything is elementary - possible! Determining whether a man is in love in an open relationship can be simple. But there is a more complex option - closed relationships.

Signs of closed love

In order to understand and guess about hidden love, you need to show spy qualities and awaken the Sherlock Holmes in yourself. The husband will not say a word about any woman, will not show his feelings.

The most important sign is a change in the husband, from his mood to his appearance. Falling in love changes not only a woman, giving her wings, but also men. The saddest thing is that the husband begins to gradually move away, he loses interest in communication, sex, and solving family difficulties.

If there is a hidden relationship, all men try to hide their means of communication, the phone is always with them, social networks are “password-protected,” and even when going to the toilet, correspondence is hidden. The husband’s mood is high, even despite the overtime work and frequent business trips, which the husband is going on as if on a date.

Sooner or later, if a man has another love, there comes a lull in his sex life. At first, excuses: I’m tired at work, something hurts, etc., seemingly little things in life, happen to everyone. But gradually sex generally fades into the background and the husband can speak and openly express his reluctance.

Against this background, reproaches are added, and seemingly harmless ones, for washing dishes not clockwise, for under-salted or over-salted soup, with the obligatory “prefix” like this always, for pink toilet paper and other “delights.”

These points indicate not only that the husband is in love, but also that the previous relationship, and the very concept of family, is going to hell. So what to do? And what is the plan of action?

My husband loves someone else: what to do?

The most practical advice is, is it necessary to return love? Will a woman be able to survive betrayal and not once reproach her? Or is the purpose of forgiving the betrayal of love for another hidden in the possibility of constant reproaches? If so, then it's not worth it!

In order to understand whether a man is needed, you need to think about how life will change without him? You need to be honest with yourself and put aside the financial side of the issue, and analyze only from the position of feelings, think carefully about betrayal, and is complete forgiveness acceptable?

If parting is acceptable, and those relationships, oppression, and simply indifference turned out to be the last, decisive straw, then you can safely cut the ropes. And go on a free voyage. But if it is not possible to breathe without your beloved husband, then you will have to work hard and fight to the bitter end.

In the fight to return your husband’s love, you need to start not with calling your rival and sorting out the relationship, but with yourself, and initially you need to work on your wounded pride and self-esteem.

What is the main thing in building self-esteem and self-esteem? No, not knowing all the poems of A.S. Pushkin, and quoting Goethe, and, first of all, appearance. Approaching the mirror, you need to evaluate yourself, not the extra centimeters on your waist, but find in yourself those virtues and advantages that have faded for various reasons. By collecting all your advantages in a heap, you thereby obtain a “weapon” that will help return a man’s love. The most important advantage of a woman is that it was her man who took her to the registry office and legitimized the relationship.

Changing your wardrobe, getting your hair done, radically dyeing your hair, and buying stylish accessories can greatly improve your self-esteem. Moreover, changing the image has a double benefit, as they say - we combine business with pleasure. The wife's self-esteem and sense of self increase, the husband sees in front of him that beautiful woman whom he once led down the aisle.

Changing mood and behavior is also a weapon that must be used. How to hide sleepless nights with tears in your pillow? Good makeup and a constant smile. Of course, it’s hard to smile when you’ve been betrayed. But who said it would be easy?

Returning lost love: instructions for use.

Quite often, men mistake falling in love and all the charm of the bouquet and candy period for love. But the real feeling with my wife, which had been tested over the years, crashed against the rocks of living together. In the arms of another woman, with whom there was simply no time to start arguing or face any problems - good. How else? All new relationships are wonderful and seem to last forever.

But in reality this is a mirage. And psychologists advise letting go for a while, don’t hold on to it. Let the husband plunge into this relationship. Let him evaluate the housekeeping of another woman. Many men find it difficult to get used to other arrangements if for many years their socks have been on the third shelf on the left, but for their new “love” they are at the very bottom, in the chest of drawers. Sooner or later this will become the subject of, perhaps not a scandal, but definitely a conversation.

And once again, when the unfaithful husband comes home, he sees the already familiar order, the smell of his favorite dishes, this will make him think. Even if he left immediately, there is no need to cry and scream after him. On the contrary, this is an excellent sign – the ice has broken. The next time the husband returns home for something, he will remember the smell of his home, its structure and way of life, which was built together over the years. He will remember his wife, whom, by the way, he did not hide from prying eyes, whom he was proud of and boasted about to his friends. Memories of past comfort, stability, old pleasant memories will make you think about whether this is love?

The most important task of a woman is not to throw tantrums, but to let go for a while. Lack of drive, adrenaline, fear of being exposed greatly affects the acuity of feelings. And they give a man the opportunity to understand, is this love? All romance and imaginary love may slowly but surely disappear.

And one day the door will open, and the faithful will stand on the threshold, asking to be accepted back into the family. But don't think that this is a victory. It's only begining. You can’t bring down your anger on your husband, shouting: “Well, have you had enough? “Irochka” turned out to be bad... Did you under-salt the borscht?” From such scandals and mutual reproaches, a man may doubt the correctness of his choice.

The husband has already made his choice, he returned, he realized that the family is better, and his arrival is nothing more than a request to be let back in, and, if possible, to start all over again.

Basic mistakes

The most common mistake many women make when faced with infidelity is hysterics. This happens on a whim, as a matter of course. Scandals, showdowns, tears, threats, sometimes even fights - these are situations that are typical in 90% of cases.

This situation “has remained at the genetic level” since the times of socialism. When a walking man was disgraced at a general meeting at work. And under pain of dismissal and surrendering my membership card, I had to return to my family. The main thing is done - the husband is in the family, but by what methods and with what consequences?

Today the situation is the same, only instead of the boss, friends are used, to whom all the dirty linen is turned out, all the family secrets are told. Many women resort to blackmail, any of them – with their children, with their own lives. It’s not for nothing that they say that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force him to drink. Worth thinking about!

Therefore, in order for a man to fully return home, not only with his body, under the pressure of circumstances, but also with his soul, it is necessary to use women’s tricks. Female affection should be turned on at full capacity, because in most cases this is what the man was looking for on the side. And don't be afraid to look stupid.

Perhaps the man on the side was looking to share his own interests, therefore, you can begin to delve into his hobby, perhaps even doing it together. All topics discussed with your husband should be carefully chosen. Ideally, in this area, a man should be the strongest and have a better understanding than his wife. Men love to feel smarter and more important. He is the protector - the head of the family.

Before you try to return your beloved husband to the family, you need to realize that the old relationship is in the past. They are over. We need to build a new relationship, in any case, even if the husband is the same.

In building a new relationship with your old husband, you need to lock all your grievances in a dark closet and hang a barn lock. New relationships should begin with a light heart. A woman should always remain a woman, and this is not necessary for someone, but for a woman.

You need to be gentle, purposeful, to be the kind of woman that more than one man will not miss. And even after getting married, you should not give in and relax - this is necessary, first of all, for the woman herself. Once this simple truth gets into your head, no man will allow a relationship on the side.

Men cheat on their wives for various reasons: the desire to feel “young”, variety, adrenaline. If this is not a fleeting connection, but a long-term relationship with a mistress, it is difficult to hide it. A traitor does not always leave the family for another woman, and then the wife has to think what to do if her husband loves another, but does not leave.

Is it worth saving the family?

Fear and fear - we often use these words interchangeably, not paying attention to the fact that although their meaning is close, they are not the same thing. We are afraid of a big, crying dog at us or a scary, big hairy spider. Domestic violence is a legal, moral, psychological and social problem. Interventions for domestic violence include: The Domestic Violence Prevention and Amendment Act.

My husband loves someone else: what to do?

A crisis can affect any marriage, whether five, ten or twenty years of life have passed. A crisis in a marriage begins when a woman and a man lose contact. Waking up at night significantly reduces the quality of sleep. In the morning a man gets up as if he had not slept at all. Some people wake up several times or even dozens of times during the night.

As a rule, the traitor is fully confident that he has the situation under control. He tries to hide his mistress from his wife, and tells the lady on the side that there are problems at home and now is not the best time for a divorce.

When an unfaithful husband does not want to leave for his mistress, the woman herself can decide the fate of the family.

Try to hold a man

It is difficult to be with your spouse when he was able to love another, but sometimes feelings are higher than betrayal. In this case, efforts must be made to convince the husband to stay in the family. There is no need to reveal your cards this very evening; first prepare the ground.

Fear of the dark is one of the main fears of young children. This is a developmental anxiety that develops over time and learns to fall asleep without having to keep the lights on in the room all night. Separation anxiety occurs in children around the eighth month of life. Infants react with anxiety when separated from their mother, who for them is an “extension.”

Drug addiction is called leukemia. Tablets, capsules and all kinds of medicines become available to the “closest friend”. Alcoholism continues to be the biggest addiction in Poland. Poles drank as a result of prevailing customs. Alcohol is accompanied by most social events and family celebrations - baptisms, weddings, communion.

Think about your relationship and try to understand the reasons for his cheating. A man just won’t cheat, it means he doesn’t like something or is missing something in the family. Reasons that you can influence: unkempt appearance, bad character, problems in intimate life, poor housekeeping, etc.

As a rule, both spouses are to blame for infidelity. But you have the power to work on your mistakes.

Try to do everything to make him comfortable at home. Create an environment at home such that that woman fades into the background. After a week of good relations, you can move on to talking about the future.

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Returning lost love: instructions for use

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Parting

But if you do not want to live with a traitor, you need to break up with him. This must be done without unnecessary scandals and showdowns. But only if you are sure of his betrayal and your decision.

Take a break so you don't do anything stupid out of emotion. Think over the situation and make a final decision, because after his departure your life will change.

Having calmed down, you can think about how you will tell him about the breakup. Every action must be calculated. Most likely, your husband will deny his infidelity and will begin to blame you, so it is better to have evidence or an ironclad position.

You may have noticed that some people have difficulty saying these two little words, despite the fact that they often use them in other situations during everyday conversations, such as “I love cheesecake,” “I love sports.” Unpredictable and sensitive, emotional and timid. How to ensure good communication between a woman and a man in a relationship? How to react to women's quirks and foves? How to resolve conflict wisely?

This is how the conversation begins when a woman asks for support to understand what is happening to her, why she is betraying and in most cases wants to do whatever it takes to save her relationship or what is left of her. There are many reasons why women cheat on their partners.

After the conversation, say that you do not want to live with a traitor. If the apartment is yours, you can pre-pack his things and place them near the door. But it won’t be so easy to kick him out of the shared apartment, although you can invite him to go spend the night with his mistress.

Everything interesting

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On the other hand, let's not forget that it is just as easy for a partner to find his or her extramarital affairs. Having fun can seem innocent if you don't get caught. But if the truth comes out, you and your family will certainly suffer. They start with trivial conversations, exchange songs and talk about their family life and how unhappy they are with their relationship. They are convinced that a person will certainly understand them, validate them and receive recognition and respect.

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Just like a dream

In general, of course, it is not easy for a person in love to distinguish love from blind infatuation. When two people are together, they feel good, when they are filled with bright hopes, when they, in the most literal sense of the word, cannot get enough of each other, hardly any of them thinks about the difference.

And she certainly is. Falling in love can be compared to a dream, magical and pleasant. I wish it would never end, but, alas, this never happens.

Awakening

“The love boat crashed into everyday life,” Mayakovsky sighed. Yes, this happens. It is only in books that lovers maintain a reverent attitude towards each other throughout their lives; in reality, everything is somewhat different. Even the strongest feelings sometimes cool down, and some kind of insight or awakening occurs. Psychologists speak out more categorically, calling this moment a period of crisis or “grinding in.” Alas, it is at this time that a woman can suddenly feel and understand that she loves another.

What's happened?

This question is asked more than once by the beautiful half of humanity, sneaking glances in the mirror.

Everything seems to be in order: there are no extra centimeters at the waist, the hairstyle and unnoticeable makeup are present, the wardrobe, including intimate ones, is regularly updated. So why do alarm bells ring in our minds every now and then? Why do terrible thoughts come to me every now and then that the guy I love loves another? And even if friends suggest “scratching it” and “not worrying” - who, if not us, should know and feel that our beloved and only one has become completely different?

Changes

No, he still asks us out, still brings us gifts, still invites us to a weekend somewhere out of town. It’s just that it seems that between the two lovers, who seemed to understand each other at a glance just a few weeks ago, a wall has grown that is becoming thicker and thicker.

The beloved loves another - the woman understands, feeling that a little more, and this invisible wall will become so thick that it will hardly be heard, even if it breaks. He becomes more and more irritable, he increasingly needs solitude, and in the end he moves away so much that she would rather spend the weekend alone than in the company of a man who behaves as if he is serving a conscription.

"It's my fault..."

“He loves someone else,” an unpleasant thought persistently beats in our consciousness, and, as often happens during neurosis, the more we drive it away from ourselves, the more strongly it sticks to us. In the end, we also become irritable, suspicious and whiny.

A man, for whom, as we know, a woman’s tears are like a rag to a bull, and already feeling guilty, gets irritated in response. Here comes the quarrel. The last one? Hardly. A man is a rational being, even burning with painful love for another woman, he can torment himself and both ladies in love with him for years. As for his unfortunate passion, she, having expressed everything she thinks to the tormentor, painfully begins to look for shortcomings in herself. The most annoying thing is that while it is not known who the lucky rival is, it is impossible to understand what advantages she has and what needs to be changed in herself.

Searching of decisions

When a loved one loves another and does not hide it, the most important thing is not to panic and not throw hysterics. Although, given that women are emotional creatures, this is perhaps the most difficult thing. It should be remembered that since he is still here and has not gone anywhere, it is necessary to remain calm. This is necessary for both, since only in a calm state can an adequate solution be found. As for the unfaithful lover, then, without hearing screams and reproaches, without seeing tears and a swollen face, which once seemed to him the most beautiful in the world, he will be able to put his thoughts and feelings in order and understand what he really wants.

The decision to definitely find out what your opponent is like is not the best. Firstly, this is a waste of time, and secondly, without the skills of Hercule Poirot or Sherlock Holmes, it is quite difficult not to screw up and give yourself away during surveillance. And yes, it is alienating. If a loved one loves another girl, he turns into a real jealous person in relation to himself and carefully protects his personal space. If a mobile phone left on the edge of the table is moved a millimeter to the side, this may not raise unpleasant questions like: “Did you take it?” But the thought that in his short absence, his passion, who clearly knows something, could either read incoming SMS messages or write down several numbers unfamiliar to her, flashes through his head. This means that the defense will be strengthened, the invisible wall will become wider, and on top of that, he will also dig a mental ditch.

What to do?

But some young ladies, despite the risk, still manage to recognize the “enemy” by sight. So, when it becomes known that a loved one loves another, what to do is not entirely clear.

The entire strategy that was developed before the moment of truth collapses, hands give up, and you want one thing - either kill both of them, or break with the traitor and traitor forever. Looking at them, happy, laughing, you don’t want to go to the store for a new “outfit” that he will certainly like. I don’t want to change my hairstyle, I don’t want to improve in cooking: why, when next to him is she, who is not only younger or more beautiful, but simply different...

By the way, a common mistake of many women is to believe that if a loved one loves another, she, this other, is certainly better in some way. Yes, of course, sometimes it really happens that a man runs away from his passion for someone who doesn’t nag him, doesn’t hang on him, doesn’t demand attention. But there are very frequent cases when a previously gentle and faithful friend left for another woman simply because she was completely different from his ex-lover. Unfortunately, there is hardly anything we can do to help here. And it makes sense to return to the concepts of love and falling in love. If he truly loved, he would hardly be drawn to the side in search of new sensations. If she truly loved, she would not have the desire to follow her beloved and torment him with her jealousy. Although, of course, to some extent love is selfish.

"Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way"

When an unmarried couple breaks up, the breakup can be handled without much complications. Yes, it hurts, but, in the end, it’s not the end of the world, and is it worth holding on to a person who betrayed and trampled on bright feelings? And there are no guarantees that the homewrecker will be happy with him. After all, as you know, the boomerang always returns, and “he who betrayed once will betray again.” It's another matter when it's different.

This is where a real tragedy can occur, especially when there are children in the family. However, considering that life with a disgusted (yes, let’s call a spade a spade) wife, even for the sake of the children, will not be a joy for her, nor for the unfaithful spouse, nor, of course, for the children who feel that something is wrong at home, it is unlikely this will benefit the latter. As practice shows, children growing up in a nervous environment and witnessing family quarrels, even in a complete family, can develop complexes and phobias. Therefore, wouldn’t it be better to either let your beloved spouse go free, or invite him to live separately for some time? A man, no matter how much he is in love with another, is strongly attached to his family. This is genetic, and there is no escape from it. Having walked on the side, perhaps even for more than one month, he will be able to appreciate the true value of a home and a benevolent wife, who, provided that she can understand and forgive, is always ready to take the prodigal husband back.

We used to say that my husband cheated on me with someone else.
If we consider the situation from the point of view of betrayal, then resentment, anger, pain, suffering are inevitable.
But try to look at it differently: He didn’t cheat, but your husband fell in love with another woman.

Many women have encountered a situation where a husband, after living in the family for quite some time, finds another woman.
This is a very difficult and difficult period for both women and men.
I foresee women’s indignation, they just think that they are the victims, but it’s great for the man, he’s in love.
I want to reassure you that this is not so. This is true until the woman or both begin to put pressure on the man.
Men who are quite successful come to see me and find themselves in situations that turn even strong and successful men into completely helpless ones.
On the one hand, habit and duty do not allow one to break off relations with the family, on the other hand, new sensations, falling in love, passion, and sometimes love that has grown over the years, draws one to another woman.

With the appearance of another woman in the life of both men and women, a difficult period begins.
I know how difficult it can be for women to communicate with their husbands, how resentment, pain, damaged pride do not allow them to communicate in a normal manner.
I know how painful it is to realize the fact that my husband loves someone else.
How you want to be sarcastic, make a joke or create an outright scandal.
It can be very difficult for a woman to hold back her tears and she cannot pull herself together, thereby beginning to irritate a man because he does not know how to react to such a manifestation of emotions. The feeling of his helplessness results in his irritation.
The woman feels so much pain that she doesn't know how to cope with it.
She is desperately looking for help and support from a man, but he cannot give it to her.
It is very important for her at this moment that the man realizes his guilt and realizes the pain he caused his wife.
But often a man behaves in a completely opposite way and instead of repenting, he simply withdraws into himself.
Men are designed in such a way that when they hear criticism, they only hear it, and they don’t even feel guilty about it.
Or feeling guilty, they cannot admit it out of their childish stubbornness.
You must understand that I am writing here about the problems of both men and women who are far from their spiritual development; spiritual people do not face such problems.
You need to place your spiritual and personal development at great value in life.
The more spiritually developed a man is, the more he will understand women's feelings.
The more spiritually developed a woman is, the more she will understand men’s reactions.

Sometimes a man really doesn’t know how to fix this situation, and sometimes he just doesn’t want to.
Although I think he DOESN’T WANT, it’s more true.
There is also other behavior: your husband will have intimate conversations with you, swear that it’s all over, but once he crosses the threshold of the house he will do everything he did.
I think that if a woman, after his promises, discovered again that he continues to date another woman, then she must understand that her husband loves or is attached to another and that he CANNOT and DOES NOT WANT to part with her.

Every person makes a choice in his life and, most importantly, bears responsibility for it.
If your husband, after clarifying the relationship and conversations, continues a parallel relationship, then you have a choice - either fight, but not in the literal sense, or break up.
To fight in this case means to accept the situation as such - you, your husband and his Mistress.
In such a struggle, patience will win.

And many women understand FIGHT literally, without thinking at all about patience.
Or they begin to endure so much, trying to please the husband in everything, to be better than his mistress, that in the end, not getting any results, they lose patience and throw the husband out.
To fight in this case means to act according to the principle of depreciation, (the first movement in the direction of the blow, accepting it), the husband wants you to be in his life, and his mistress, so you need to give it to him if you choose to fight.
If you are not ready to break up and cannot change the situation, he still continues the relationship with another woman, then you need to stop fighting with your rival, you need to stop fighting for the man, for the relationship.
Try to ignore them and let go of the situation, although this is the hardest thing to do.
You must understand that having done everything to make him leave another woman, you cannot silence his feelings, you are powerless to influence the feelings of another person.

Accepting your powerlessness is a huge step towards YOURSELF.
You must understand that if it had been so easy for him to leave this woman, this situation would not have arisen in your life at all.

Accepting the situation and letting go through yourself does not mean passively accepting, you need to actively accept the situation - accept the existing state of affairs, but at the same time begin to work hard on yourself, being active only in relation to working on yourself.
Anger and irritation should be a good resource for this.

You are alone... And in any situation you need to think first of all about yourself.
If fate wishes to return your husband's love, it will return to you, usually when you are not expecting it.
To find you have to lose.