Will a man leave his wife for his mistress? Why doesn't he leave his wife? If a lover leaves his wife

By chance, I came across a forum where this issue was discussed. “Does anyone have examples from life when a man left his family for his mistress and regretted it, did he come back? Have your wife and mistress switched places?” The discussion was heated. Of course, the topic is exciting and topical. And I came up with a post on this topic.

Statistics say YES. Or rather, there are much more men who regret it than those who are happy that they left and do not regret anything. Men, just like women, are “unlucky” in new relationships.

Why? Let's figure it out

Men's expectations are not met. In other respects, everything is the same, but more work.

It seems that when he leaves his wife for his mistress, he does not start a new relationship. For some time they met secretly or openly. What changed when the mistress became a wife, albeit a civilian one?

It has changed. For example, a man’s view of relationships and his expectations. One thing is required from a mistress, and something completely different from a wife. A man expects to receive in a new relationship what he did not receive in the past. After all, it was dissatisfaction with family life that led him to bed with his mistress, and then to the decision to create a permanent love union with her. By the way, not all traitors decide to do the latter. More often than not, it is the wives who insist on leaving the family. And if it weren’t for their thunder and lightning, the suitcase displayed at the front door, the requirement to choose “me or her,” many men would have cheated for years and worked on two fronts for years. Not because they like it that way, although that happens. But because it is more difficult for a man to decide on a divorce than for a woman. According to my psychology.

Do lovers understand this? Are you ready to meet men's expectations? Most often not. Which deals blow after blow to a relationship. And now the question creeps into the man’s mind: “Why did I do this?”

The demands placed on a woman who has changed her status from mistress to wife are higher than on an ex-wife. This fact should be taken into account!

In a new relationship, a man does not satisfy his needs.

No matter how trite it sounds, and it has set the teeth on edge, there is no statement more truthful than this: men are simple-minded. However, they are driven by needs, the dissatisfaction of which inevitably leads to a break in the relationship. There are exceptions, but, as they say, they confirm the rules. It is this dissatisfaction that in most cases pushes a man to cheat, to see his mistress, and to leave his family.

It is very important to know about men's needs. This greatly simplifies the process of organizing relationships.

Women are complex creatures. You need everything. And a lot of things. Unlike you women, men are very simple creatures. In reality, it doesn't take much to make us happy. In fact, there are only three things that, by and large, every man needs: support, fidelity and sex.

Just three. And I'm here to tell you over and over again that yes, everything is really like that. Just.

Steve Harvey

Need #1: Support. Men should feel supported - like they are kings, even if they are not. They want to feel like kings, even if they don't act like royalty.

Need #2. Loyalty. For men, love is devotion. This means that no matter what happens, you will be with the man. He gets fired - you stay with him even if he doesn't bring home a paycheck. When talking with your friends, you enthusiastically say: “This is my man. I am faithful to him."

Need No. 3. Sex. No man can live without sex. He will wait if you are on your period - if he loves you. But if he doesn’t care, he won’t persuade you to give affection - he’ll just get it from someone else.

Old rake in new relationship

We all make mistakes. We step on the same rake and again receive a painful blow. The same thing happens in relationships. We bring a suitcase with the past into a new life, unpack it and use its contents - familiar, familiar, but precisely what led to the breakup.

In general, women are best at working on mistakes.
They are more flexible. They live by emotions. And in general, a woman is a process worker. It is her nature that is assigned to the creation of relationships. There is no need to expect an equal contribution from a man to this process. A waste of time and nerves.
It is enough to look into the psychology of men to not so much be upset as to be inspired. Believe me!

The world of a man is an external, objective world. A man can be good at relationships, but initially, by his natural essence, a man’s task is to create objects, repair objects, understand objects. The focus of a man's attention is on the outside world. A man's attention is always outward and seeks what can become his, followed by the action of capturing.

N. Kozlov

Get rid of illusions

Yes, men often regret leaving. Men often ask to return or secretly dream of returning to their family. But you shouldn’t indulge yourself in the illusion that “having suffered,” your prodigal son, excuse me, husband, will return a different person. That he will realize his mistakes, and you will become the queen of the situation. And now the husband, making amends for his guilt, will begin to work on the relationship more than you or even alone.

Nothing like this! Very soon history will repeat itself. If it is not the cause of the disease that is removed, but only its symptoms, then it returns very soon.

If you are suffering and want your husband to return to the family, then you should ask and answer these questions honestly.

• Why do you want this so much? Or why do you need this man?
• Are you ready to forgive the offense and accept betrayal in peace?
• Are you ready to radically change your relationship strategy and tactics and work mercilessly on it seven days a week?

Nothing goes back to normal. You can't step into the same river twice. I wouldn’t create even bigger problems for myself, I wouldn’t feed the devil in my soul, I wouldn’t plunge myself and my loved ones into hell.

We lived for 15 years. He went to his boss. He married her right away, changed jobs so as not to be under her. He left simply insane. Like a zombie. 4 years have passed. We communicate with him only by phone and very rarely, dryly, the only reason is his daughter. I know he's feeling bad. He looks bad and gets sick often. Kind of cool. He told my brother (they are still friends) that everything was not at all as expected, and that he was simply afraid of his new wife. Didn't say he wanted to go back. He didn’t say that he regretted leaving me. And I waited for the first year. Now I don’t expect it, but I don’t have a personal life either. Even flirting. Home, daughter, work. Empty and gray. Why the hell everything was necessary. He's unhappy, I'm unhappy. And this *** is covered in chocolate on all sides. Will never come to me. If he leaves ***, then there will be a third.

Returning your husband to the family or accepting him back only makes sense if you sincerely love your husband and wish him happiness. You understand that you owe your husband and want to repay this emotional debt.

The answers to the other two questions should also be positive. Resentment and old relationship tactics and strategies will not lead you to happiness and balance.

Men often return to their families. This is true. It happens that a woman does not have to work very hard upon his return.
But there is no happiness! But isn’t that the meaning of the union?

What can such statistics give?

You can be happy again with your old husband. But under different conditions. Are you ready? The decision is yours.

I know how difficult it is to figure it out on your own. Come for a consultation. I will help.

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With love, Eva

The situation when we fall in love with unfree men is not uncommon today. We firmly believe that you just need to be patient a little and then your loved one will finally make a choice and finally leave the family. But what if this doesn’t happen? Should I endure a supporting role all my life or, closing my eyes, forget about my feelings and try to build a new life, but without him? Or maybe fight for your happiness to the end and take decisive measures, without fear of receiving the condemnation of others and the lifelong status of a “cunning homewrecker”? Today we will talk to you about the unenviable role of mistresses and men leading a double life.

Oh times, oh morals!

If earlier the institution of marriage was considered sacred and for leaving the family a man was stigmatized by everyone around him, including even the team at work, today the situation looks different. With the change in the world around us, the attitude towards mistresses has also changed - today it is no longer so clear-cut. And the “background” women themselves perceive their status in a completely different way and are ready to fight for personal happiness, using the entire available arsenal of available means.

Why is this happening? Firstly, nowadays people approach marriage more easily, and divorce no longer seems to many to be a global catastrophe. We got married, lived together, but, alas, it didn’t work out - so what now, should I blame myself for this for the rest of my life? Yes, and today not all wives are ready to lynch a homewrecker after discovering the fact of adultery, since many of them understand that betrayal is always the action of not one person, but two, one of whom is the ex-husband, and therefore the blame for what happened does not lie only on the opponent.

Moreover, in modern realities it often turns out that the “long-legged bitch” who took her husband away from the family turned out to be a victim herself, because for the time being she did not even suspect that her husband was married.

Divorce is not always a disaster

The destruction of a marriage in itself does not always bring pain and suffering, and sometimes even, on the contrary, becomes a real salvation for both ex-spouses. Of course, a lot depends on the family atmosphere. When a woman lives without even suspecting that there is something wrong in her relationship with her husband, his departure can be very painful for her, especially if there are children in the family. And it’s sad if, even over time, she cannot come to terms with the status of “abandoned” and throughout her life she will take out her anger and resentment on her runaway husband through her child and those around her. But no less often there are other situations when, over time, the abandoned spouse realizes that everything happened for the better, meets another person, starts a new life and perceives an unfulfilled marriage as an experience necessary for personal change.

Psychologists believe that men decide to leave the family for only two reasons. The first is when marriage as such no longer exists, it falls apart before our eyes and its fragments are simply impossible to collect. The second is if he really fell in love with another woman and is ready for global changes in his life.

If there is no longer a marriage

The third party in a love triangle most often appears when a man’s relationship with his legal wife can hardly be called happy. The paradox is that the spouse most often does not specifically look for some kind of “outlet” and can exist in this mode for a long time, until an external push accidentally occurs. A man, tired of the constant nagging and attacks of his wife, who sees only his negative qualities, is no longer in a hurry to go home after work and is constantly in a bad mood. And then suddenly, like a bolt from the blue, SHE appears - completely different from his wife, kind, smiling, sweet, caring, ready to listen to all his problems and non-reproachful. And, of course, in this situation, relationships on the side become for him a way out of the boring darkness.

Similar situations often occur when spouses no longer love each other, but live together solely for the sake of children or for some other reasons that make living together simply convenient for both of them. And then the role of a mistress turns out to be saving not only for the man, but also for the woman he leaves behind, since divorce gives them both a chance to build a new, truly happy life. It sounds surprising, but sometimes in such situations the ex-wife and mistress subsequently even communicate quite adequately with each other.

The main indicator of the seriousness of a man’s intentions to enter into a new relationship is a fairly quick separation from his past life. Usually this happens in a very short time - from several weeks to a couple of months. The most important thing for a mistress in this case is not to rush her lover to a decision. If he really loves you, he will do it himself. Therefore, if you have just started a relationship with a married person and feel that this is your person, give him a little time, and do not issue ultimatums from the “it’s either me or her” series on the second date.

If you wait 10 years

In contrast to situations when a man quickly makes a decision, says goodbye to the past and starts a new life with a new lover, sadder cases are no less common when a double life drags on not even for months, but for years. A man can fool his mistress for a very long time, constantly postponing the decision to leave his legal wife until later, finding all sorts of excuses for such behavior: “Let the child go to school first, and then I’ll tell her,” “My wife is seriously ill now, I don’t want her yet.” to upset me any more, let’s put it off until later,” “I have an important project at work, and I don’t need any extra hassle, so when I finish it, I’ll immediately tell my wife about us.” And then it turns out that your wife is not only not sick, but is also pregnant with a second or third child, although your lover said that there has been no intimacy between them since the moment you met.

At the same time, your life with a man can resemble a love affair: with hundreds of SMS a day, secret meetings, whispered calls from the toilet and... holidays and weekends spent alone. It turns out that the gentleman seems to exist, but at the same time, for some reason, he cannot be there at the most necessary moments.

Why is this happening? In this case, the mistress is simply an outlet for the man. Yes, of course, he loves her in his own way, appreciates her and is afraid of losing her, but he has no intention of leaving his wife, with whom he has lived much longer. He is quite happy with rare meetings, violent sex and the state of euphoria that he experiences when he is with another girl, but, alas, he cannot imagine life with her. There is even such a saying among men: they say, if you first got married and then fell in love, there is no need to change it for good, because over time, the relationship with the second wife will turn into the same routine. Therefore, it is better to just carefully “hang out” and enjoy it, and when you get tired of it, return to your normal life.

If your relationship with a man develops exactly according to this scenario, the best way out would be to overcome yourself and break this union, since such cases very rarely end with a “happy ending”. If you cannot imagine life without your loved one, come to terms with the role of “second wife” destined for you and do not entertain yourself with vain illusions that someday this man will become exclusively yours. As practice shows, if he did not leave the family immediately or at least during the first year of the relationship, he will never leave.

Habit of getting married

There is another possible situation. Some men (usually creative and passionate people) simply fall in love very often and each time they think that this is finally “for life.” They easily move from one woman to another, and each of them is certainly taken to the registry office. Usually, such gentlemen have at least three ex-wives and one more “current” in their “track record”. Such “walkers” can leave their next spouse for your sake without any mental anguish and almost the next day after the divorce offer their hand, heart and passport stamp to you. As a rule, the mistress immediately melts at the opportunity to fulfill her dream and joyfully agrees. Family happiness lasts until the next beauty in a miniskirt appears on the horizon.

If you know that your chosen one has been married more than once or twice, think carefully about whether the gamble is worth the candle. Most likely, you will waste your own time and nerves, and as a result you will find yourself just another name in the endless series of Mash, Yul and Katya, because it is precisely such men that the saying “the grave will straighten the hunchback” fits perfectly.

How to rush things or tricks of experienced lovers

If you have thought carefully and are sure that you want to connect your life with this particular man, but you no longer have the strength to wait until he himself makes a decision in your favor, you can try to use some proven method from the collection of experienced mistresses. True, none of them can guarantee a specific and accurate result that will completely suit you, since much depends on the nature of relationships in the family, the personality of your spouse and his own attitude towards your behavior.

The most logical thing you can do to push a man to divorce is tell his wife about your relationship. If he's in no hurry, let her do it! You can give this push in different ways. If you don’t want a man to understand that you are doing this on purpose, try “accidentally” leaving a lipstick mark on his shirt, “forgetting” your panties or earring in his apartment or car, sending a sweet SMS while he asked not to do this, citing the fact that it had completely slipped your mind that his wife could be nearby now.

You can also call him at his home number and, if his wife answers the phone, for a few seconds be silent and then hang up. Such periodically repeated calls will make a woman feel something is wrong and begin to take a closer look at her husband’s behavior, and sooner or later she will definitely catch him on something, especially if you have already “tried” with lipstick, panties or SMS.

You can turn on your internal detective, find out your wife’s email address or her social network page and send yours there a photo with your loved one. True, in this case it will be quite obvious to the man who did it.

Can post a photo together on your own page, especially if you and your loved one have mutual friends who also know his wife. In this case, there is a high probability that one of the “vigilant” acquaintances will forward this photo to the recipient. To the man’s question “why?” you can come up with an innocent excuse from the series “I uploaded many photos at once and our photo accidentally ended up there, and I didn’t even notice!”

If you are a supporter of radical measures and are not afraid of a man’s anger, call or text his wife directly, and honestly tell her that you are her husband’s mistress. If you are not afraid, you can show up directly to her home or make an appointment in a neutral place, for example, in a cafe, and honestly talk about what is happening behind her back. At the same time, it is important to emphasize that everything is wonderful between you and you are simply tired of such a good woman (wife) being led by the nose for so long. We can say that your meeting should be a secret, since the man was going to tell everything anyway, and you thus decided, out of female solidarity, to mentally prepare your spouse.

You can also act through the man himself: throw him constant tantrums, saying that you are tired of waiting, demanding that he finally decide “either I or she.” At the same time, it is important to prepare yourself for the fact that he may make a decision that is not in your favor. Hysterics can be replaced with heart-to-heart conversations, complaining about uncertainty, showing that you are falling into depression and not sleeping at night because of this unresolved situation.

Another radical way - announce your pregnancy. It’s up to you to decide who exactly to tell: either the deceived wife (so that she “gets into the situation”), or the cheater, or both of them. True, this must be done very carefully so that your deception is not revealed later. Of course, it is possible to imagine a medical error or a miscarriage later, but not every man will believe it. It would be much more honest to really do everything possible so that the pregnancy does occur, and with minor discrepancies in the period within a couple of weeks, questions will not arise later. However, do not forget that this method is a double-edged sword. If your husband and his wife do not have children, then he may sincerely rejoice at the possible pregnancy and decide that everything happened for the better, but another gentleman in a similar situation, on the contrary, will behave like bestials - he will simply cut off all ties with you or disappear, promising "help financially." And most importantly: if you are thinking about pregnancy, think about whether you are really ready to give birth to a child from this particular person, despite the possible risk of breaking up with him.

As you can see, not in all cases, trying to rush things will make you look decent. Forcing a situation where you force a man to leave the family, according to psychologists, can come back to haunt you in the future. If his decision turned out to be “forced” and not carefully weighed, more than once during quarrels you will hear reproaches from him that because of you he abandoned his family. That is why it is better to wait until your chosen one makes a decision on his own, taking responsibility for its consequences, and not trying to transfer it to you in case the future life together turns out to be not too rosy.

And a little about ex-wives

We are all different people. And if someone, being in the role of a mistress, does not think at all about how a man’s departure from the family will affect his abandoned wife, then someone else even sincerely worries about the ex-wife of their lover. It's not really you who needs to think about this. Marriage is a matter of only two people, which means its breakup is too. You have nothing to do with this, because if people truly love each other, no tricks from the outside will force them to separate. The family should be protected by the one who creates it.

And if you are still worried, remember the numerous situations where abandoned women, having survived a painful blow and difficult rehabilitation after it, went through a complete renewal. They began to have a new attitude towards themselves and their lives, realized their own mistakes that took place in a failed marriage, and in a new relationship they will do everything possible not to repeat them. That is why, according to statistics, the second marriage almost always turns out to be stronger than the first.

In general, to avoid such problems, it is better to simply not start relationships with married men and you will be happy!

I am 31 years old. More than 10 years ago I met a girl, at that time I had a lot of problems, she helped me cope with all this and supported me emotionally. As a result, I graduated from college, got a good job, and began to successfully climb the career ladder.

Family relationships have always been relatively smooth, there were quarrels, without excesses. I will also say that my ex-wife had a good position at work, and we did not experience any financial problems. We were always surrounded by good friends, we lived in our own country house, a good car, a smart son, he will be 10 years old in the summer.

I don’t know what I began to miss; the relationship grew colder and became purely everyday, although extremely comfortable. A little over six months ago I met a girl on a business trip, we stayed with her for 3 days and I truly fell in love. We began to meet secretly in another city (we are from different cities), fortunately there were reasons to leave. website Before the New Year, I made my choice, confessed everything to my wife and went to my mistress. He left everything he had acquired to her and her son, good alimony, and along with this the unpaid mortgage. She has enough money, but without alimony it won’t be so sweet, rather the opposite.

After the holidays, they began to file for divorce, and I was preparing for a new wedding. The transfer took place for work in the city where my new wife and I now live. Everything went smoothly, we had a great wedding, my friends and parents came, everyone liked each other, because my new wife is just fire - beautiful, smart, loves me, great sense of humor.

Indeed, everything worked out great for me. Just a week ago, it began to dawn on my brain, blinded by the new life, what I had really done. I destroyed my ex-wife’s life, I simply destroyed it, I began to find out what she had experienced. He ruined the life of his son, although we continue to communicate closely as much as possible.

Now doubts are starting to gnaw at me, there is no faith in the happy future of my new family. In general, it’s difficult to describe what’s going on in my soul; there’s no one or anything in the world that I hate as much as I hate myself. My wife doesn’t understand what’s happening to me, I stopped talking, smiling, I can’t even look her in the eye.

It’s frankly scary to talk to her; I don’t understand how to tell her all this. I found out that my ex-wife was waiting for me back, or rather, we could put everything back together again, albeit with difficulty. I miss her terribly, my son, my friends, my home, my cat, my life. My current wife loves me very much, but I understand that I don’t want to have children anymore (she doesn’t know how to tell her about it, I can’t think of one either), she’s unlikely to build happiness with me.

The second day, I, an adult man, start to cry when I’m left somewhere alone, out of anger at myself and out of powerlessness. I don’t know how to continue to live with all this, and, to be honest, I don’t want to live, really. Of course, this is all wildness and terrible thoughts, but I don’t know how to cope with these emotions.

This site is such a sad story. All our friends considered us the standard of a happy family, they said among themselves: “that’s how great they are, what a strong family they have, that’s who you should look up to.” And the head of this family turned out to be the most terrible person, in his own opinion.

Photo by LightFieldStudios/ iStock/Getty Images Plus

A girl I know is dating a married man. He is good-looking, witty, charismatic and wealthy enough to satisfy a girl's basic needs. But, as you know, the main basic need of a person is not material at all. I want not only carnal love and sweet words, but something more tangible, besides promises to definitely spend the night from Thursday to Friday together. He lies to his wife about a business trip and arrives with a real leather suitcase on wheels to go on a business trip for the whole evening, night and even part of the morning to the girl’s address. All this time he walks around her apartment with a towel on his hips, like Apollo, well, definitely Apollo. Passing by a large mirror in the hallway, he stops and flexes his muscles, pleased with himself. Everything suits him. He likes the way he has cleverly organized his life.

Once upon a time this was enough for her. She lived only from Friday until the following Thursday evening. The rest of the time I waited, anticipated, prepared. I bought new underwear. Perfume with pheromones. I prepared a seven-course dinner. She thought that all her efforts would not go unnoticed and that a man would one day get down on one knee, or just over a cup of tea, tell her the great news: “Darling, now we will always be together, I’m divorced, marry me...”

In her fantasies, she had already come up with a lot of options for him for his solemn speech. And each time, plunging into dreams, these speeches were more and more refined and beautiful. There were no speeches in life. There was a lot of humor in life, good sex, about the same compliments and... nothing! As if that's how it should be! As soon as she even tried to hint that she would now ask the question: “What’s next?”, her beloved seemed to have a presentiment of this and cleverly used some kind of distracting maneuver. Suddenly he asked when she would pay the rent and if she needed help. Of course I need it, oh thank you, you are the best!

Everything was obvious, but not obvious.

Do you love me even a little? - she asked.

Of course, dear! Are words really needed for this? You are the coolest! I just adore you! - he said. - And you me?

Do you need words for this? - she said sarcastically. He laughed and kissed back.

What do you think he thinks of me? - she interrogated her best friend, who had seen them together more than once.

Honestly? - asked a friend. Then she squinted and shot straight into the heart: “He’s using you, living his second youth with you.” And he will never leave his family; everything suits him. Why change anything? Did he promise you anything?

Yes. We are planning to go to Bali together, I don’t know when yet.

Well, this is the maximum you can count on.

You don't see what I see! - the girl was very upset, offended by her friend and... went to a psychologist.

Photo by Wundervisuals/ E+/ Getty Images

The psychologist said that a mistress is a crutch for the relationship between husband and wife. That in fact he simply fulfills with her those deficits that his wife lacks, and thus he has no complaints against his wife, and everything is smooth and wonderful with them. And it turns out that she serves both him and his wife, and the safety of their marriage. That if it weren't for her, the marriage might have fallen apart. And so she is practically a sister of mercy, investing her energy and youth in someone else’s family, which only becomes stronger and more prosperous. Here's a new twist! The psychologist offered to figure out why the girl needs this, to support someone else’s family, where she got such a scenario from, what are the secondary benefits in her position as a secret mistress. But the comparison with a crutch was enough for the girl.

What a fool! - said the girl, leaving the psychologist after the session. I called a friend, just a friend, a former classmate and cried. And she began to complain to him about all the men, all the psychologists and all her girlfriends. A friend suggested meeting. He gave the girl a cappuccino, listened, listened, and then said:

You're just having an existential crisis.

Oh, thank you, I really feel better! - she said ironically. - It would be better if you said what men think about people as terrible as me. Who like married men and believe and hope that love will win. Well, this is really so naive of me, right?

According to statistics, in 95% of cases this is really very naive, said a friend. - But I don’t know what percentage your case is included in.

Here! - the girl was happy. - What if, suddenly our case is included in that very 5% when it is not naive. What if he gets divorced and we end up together?

Well... It seems to me that you should just talk to him frankly.

Eh... The girl sighed. She had already tried so many times just like this, carefully and frankly, and with him, and nothing worked. And fear scratched inside: what if he leaves after this. Suddenly the fairy tale will end. Maybe these are really just illusions. Or maybe it’s better to let it be as it is?

Yes, of course,” she said. - We need to talk to him. You are right. We’ll go to Bali with him and there I’ll choose the most suitable moment...

Our heroine never left for Bali. The man of her dreams fed her breakfast, saved her for the train, and one fine day dotted all the i’s.

I'm sorry dear, it was very good with you, but we can't meet anymore. My wife is already seven months pregnant and I have to devote all my time to my family. Sorry.

My friend has not been able to get over this difficult breakup for almost two years now. She tried to take revenge, sort things out, called her wife... But everything was in vain, the deceived woman in this story turned out to be her mistress.

Love for a married man is always forbidden, sinful and condemned by society. But what to do if he is unhappy in his marriage and only certain obligations and feelings of responsibility and conscience bind him to his wife. He also wants to be with you, reciprocates your feelings, but will never dare to leave his family. In this case, you should try your best to get your lover to leave his wife for you. Perhaps someone will say that it is mean and ugly to take a person away from the family. But what if there is still no happiness in that family? Is this your fault?

Do you need this man?

Cheating is always associated with a certain mystery. Lovers are forced to hide, hide, see each other in secret. These thrills make their feelings stronger and more passionate. No wonder they say that the forbidden fruit is sweet. Often, after lovers reunite, they realize that apart from this secret and passion, nothing connects them. Relationships become boring, the spice disappears. In addition, people understand that there really was no love. In most cases, the would-be lover, having been pushed around, returns to his wife.

Even if your beloved man is unhappy in his marriage, if there are no feelings between him and his wife for a long time, think about what the situation is like in reality? Perhaps he simply chose the position of the victim, it is so convenient for him, and you also feel sorry for him. There are men who attract women to themselves in this way. After all, all women by nature love to shelter, pity, understand and console someone. Therefore, before you take a man away from your family, think about whether he wants to leave? And the most important question: do you need it? Analyze why you agreed to the role of a mistress? It is unlikely that love broke out between you right away. Surely before this there was just an intimate relationship without feelings and obligations. And being a mistress certainly has its advantages.

Why is it good to be a mistress?

Being the mistress of a family man is not always a bad thing. Think for yourself:

• you have no obligations to this man;
• you are not burdened with everyday life;
• you have constant sex;
• there is male attention and romance in your life;
• You can sometimes count on financial support (if not all the time).

Imagine a man leaves his wife for you. What awaits you? Very soon your relationship will be swallowed up by harsh everyday life. Romance and attention will disappear. In addition, do not forget that the man will constantly maintain contact with his ex-wife and children. And this is jealousy, suspicion, mistrust. And the most important point: recently he cheated on his wife with you. Where is the guarantee that he won’t cheat on you again? He is incapable of being faithful and you know this very well. This will gnaw and torment you. Although, there are women who accept all these facts and know how to create a wonderful family with their lover. We hope that you belong to this category of wise women.

For what reason is it necessary to take a man away from the family?

You need to understand that you cannot just take your lover away from your wife out of sport. As a result, your relationship will deteriorate, the man will return to his wife, and the feelings of all three participants in the love triangle will suffer. Therefore, you need to think about how to make a man leave the family only if you have serious reasons:

• there is true love between you, tested by time and situations;
• you are pregnant or already have a child from your lover;
• you both are unhappy in your personal lives without each other.

If at least one reason applies to you, then take action.

Steps on how to make your lover leave your wife

You have been dating for more than one year, but your lover has not taken the first step towards resolving the situation. Believe me, he won't. There are many circumstances that prevent this, but most often the man is simply unsure and does not want to change his established life. It is convenient for him to have a full house and a mistress as an outlet for the soul. For him to leave his wife for you, you need to take a lot of steps and spend a lot of time. But you're ready for anything, aren't you? So, how to take a man away from the family:

1. Become truly close to him. You must understand him and support him in everything. This is exactly what he lacks in his wife. But don't strive to be better than your wife or to become perfect. Stay earthy, but different. After all, this is why he chose you.
2. During meetings, create the maximum feeling of comfort and coziness for the man. He needs to know that where you are is his home.
3. There is no need to get hung up on your lover. On the contrary, at a certain moment you can move away a little. Since a man has a sense of ownership, he will panic.
4. Don't take the first steps - don't call him, don't make dates, don't invite him. A man should do this. Let him pursue you constantly.
5. Don't discuss his wife, don't turn him against her. Even if a man constantly complains about his wife, he has the right to do so, since he lives with her. Just listen, silently, to all complaints and console. If you start discussing your wife, the man may not like it.
6. The most effective way is to set an ultimatum. Deny him sex, be prepared to quit. If a man loves you, he will leave his wife. If you find an excuse not to do this again, then it’s useless.

In general, as practice shows, if a man has not made a choice and has not decided in the first year of such a relationship, then there is no point in waiting. You can thus lose your whole life in the status of an eternal lover. First, you will wait until your lover gets on his feet financially, so as not to depend on his wife or her parents. Then he will ask you to wait until the children grow up. Then the wife will have some difficult period when she needs support, and there is no way to leave her. And this is how your whole life will go. Just understand that a man loses absolutely nothing in this case: he has a family, an established life, children, relatives. What will be left for you? Broken heart and cat. Alas, these are the sad realities of statistics.

If a lover leaves his wife

If you still achieve your goal, there is no need to relax. A lover's leaving his wife does not mean your victory. You need to prepare for many moments and have a lot of patience.

1. You have sacrificed a lot in order to create the image that attracted your lover. This image needs to be maintained. After all, this is what put you at an undoubted advantage over your mistress.
2. If your lover is older than you, be prepared for differences in daily routine, nutrition, habits and preferences. Now you will prepare him a special menu so that the ulcer does not worsen and give massages during radiculitis. By the way, this again comes to the question: are you ready to tolerate such a lover?
3. Be prepared for the fact that your lover will constantly communicate with his wife and children. They will still have common friends and some business. The ex-wife will call for any reason, be it a question about a study group for a child or preparations for graduation. Of course, the best option is to make friends with the children and establish neutrality towards the wife.

As you can see, it is difficult to take a lover away from the family, but it is even more difficult to keep him close. If you find yourself in this situation, think carefully, weigh all the pros and cons. Perhaps this is another episode in your life that you simply mistook for a serious feeling.