I'm married, but I fell in love with someone else. What will a married man do if he falls in love? I'm married but fell in love with a guy

“I have two children, I lived with my wife for more than 15 years. But it so happened that for 6 years now I have been in love with another woman. I'm really tired of deceiving my wife and I want a divorce. I don’t know how to make sure that it doesn’t hurt my wife too much, and try to at least remain not enemies. In any case, she is a good and dear person to me...”

“We have a child and a marriage that is 8 years old. Over the course of three years, I truly love another woman, my wife knows about this and does her best to restrain my impulses to leave the family. But I know that this is all serious, and I have very little time left to mature to take a responsible step.”

“I left as soon as I realized that I fell in love with someone else, because I think it’s much more honest than deceiving the mother of my children for several years. The divorce was very difficult, but we got through it, and after 5 years my ex-wife forgave and understood me. I’m happy in my new marriage, I don’t regret anything.”

Here are just some excerpts from letters from our readers; the situation is not easy, would you agree? And what to do, what is the best way to act - decisively and irrevocably, or wait and hope for chance? Let's try to figure it out.

Let's start with the fact that the case when a married man falls in love with another woman is not at all isolated, and in order to try to answer the question “What to do and how to be?”, Let's figure out why this happened.

Possible reasons, or what you were missing in your marriage:

freedom or personal space;
passion and love;
care and respect;
understanding and trust.

If a person constantly experiences at least one of the above, then someday as a result he will develop depression or a nervous condition. And this is quite normal if he wants a different attitude towards himself. And when a woman appears who does not limit him in all this, then, naturally, feelings arise.

What to do if you love someone else

Let's start with the fact that if you realized that you fell in love with another woman and can no longer give this feeling to your wife, then you will agree that you are acting dishonestly towards her. It turns out that you provided yourself with the choice to love and be loved, but you didn’t even provide it to your wife.

By hiding behind caring for the child, you are masking your fear of taking responsibility by saying that when the child grows up, he will not understand or forgive you. But remember, it has long been proven that in families where parents live without love, but only for the sake of raising a child, nothing good happens, and children only grow up with an unstable nervous system. Because children are more sensitive and receptive, and even without understanding what exactly is happening between their parents, they feel coldness, lack of love, tension, etc. And from this they begin to suffer greatly and attribute the blame for what is happening to themselves. So it’s better to choose honesty, and explain to the child that mom and dad are breaking up because they no longer love each other. But this has nothing to do with him, as they loved him, they will continue to treat him, and besides, dad, for example, can be called at any time.

Nobody argues, the fork in the road is very difficult, and deciding where to stay is very difficult.

The first option for the development of events is to stay in the family, continue to live without loving and constantly think about another woman, who, by the way, will also be unhappy, suffer in silence and be afraid to make a choice. With your fear of hurting your wife and “punishing” her with the fact that she is not allowed to be near you, and the child, who will observe all the problems between the parents.

The second option is to take responsibility for the current situation, talk to your wife and child, and resolve financial and organizational issues. Allow your wife to meet another man, make the woman you love happy, and, in the end, find happiness yourself.

Well, now let's see what you have to comprehend, take into account and live in practice:

Wife's reaction– few people accept such news calmly and with dignity, so no matter how balanced your spouse is, it’s quite normal to prepare for scandals, hysterics, slamming doors and throwing things from the balcony .
The degree of your dependence on your spouse, her relatives and friends– if you depend on them in any way (income, career), then this is a big reason to think about it. Or urgently start looking for a replacement for all this.
The attitude of your own parents and friends to this situation– it is quite possible that everyone will treat it as a law of life, but misunderstanding, alienation and open confrontation may arise.
Number of children and their ages- it is clear that the more of them there are in a marriage and the younger they are, the more reproaches of conscience and not only you will have to endure.
Children's attitude towards your care– if the kids already understand everything and are trying with all their might to leave you in the house, then you are faced with a difficult task; you will have to talk a lot and for a long time, convince, and look for a compromise.
Your age - it will be much easier for a man from 23 to 40 years old to survive all this, but lovers over 40 years old should think three times already - is all this worth it or not?
Health status– it is clear that the stronger your health, the more confident you will be in your new life, but if you have some serious chronic illness or disability, then you should think twice about it. Will you really be accepted there with all these nuances, will you be looked after, etc.
Own living space for further residence – This is also worth thinking about; it’s good, of course, if you or your wife have alternative housing, otherwise problems cannot be avoided.
Income level- it’s much easier if you don’t have problems with this, but if you lived “close to each other”, then think about it, because in the new family there will initially be even more expenses than now, plus alimony will be added.

Consider all these points, but remember that any obstacles and circumstances pale in comparison to true love and sincere relationships. Your task is to get out of the situation gracefully and with dignity, remain a man, a human being, and try to make the situation of your loved ones as easy as possible. There is only one life, and you must try to live it happily, which is what we wish for you!

Greetings, dear readers of my blog! Today I would like to talk about what an unfree man should do if he has feelings for another woman. It often happens that you meet a person and do not notice how your communication becomes more sensual and intimate. But if this is not a problem for a free person, then what if you already have a soulmate? The topic of today's article: married, but in love with someone else.

How serious is it?

Undoubtedly, each situation requires an individual approach, because each couple has its own story. How long have you been married, did you get married when you were young, do you have children, how long have you been in your relationship with your mistress?

But regardless of these circumstances, we have two options for the development of events. The first is if you just had an affair on the side, an infatuation, a passion, but nothing more. Even in this case, many men think that they are into their new passion, although this is actually not the case.

This happens most often due to boredom in marriage. You have been living with your wife for a long time, every day you solve everyday problems, instead of sweet and affectionate messages, she sends you a boring and tedious list of groceries. And then at work or in a group of friends you meet a girl. She is all so light, gentle, interesting, sexy and you seem to be fascinated by her.

When you start dating her, you feel in seventh heaven. And in bed she is a sparkle, and does not pester you with stupid requests as a spouse. Of course, you haven’t yet gone through problems and living together.

There is a second option - when you find a woman who really makes you feel like a completely different person next to her. It happens that your wife is not the woman who will be with you until the end of your days.

And in this case, of course, it is not easy for all three participants in the situation. A man rushes between his wife and his mistress, his wife feels detached from her husband, and his new passion suffers from the uncertainty of whether he will stay with his wife or decide to divorce.

Therefore, first of all, I suggest that you understand the seriousness of your feelings for your new passion. Is it really so serious that you can pack your suitcase tomorrow and leave home forever? Or is it just a hobby, an attempt to diversify the dull everyday life? Give yourself an honest answer and then you will understand where to move next.

What is the way out

What to do if you find yourself in a similar situation? If you cannot say with one hundred percent certainty that she is the one, the one and only one you have been waiting for all your life, then think carefully about whether it is worth destroying your family because of this relationship. Especially if you have children. When there are no children, the question becomes somewhat simpler, although it will not hurt any less.

One of my clients did not dare to leave his wife for his mistress only for the reason that he and his wife had two children. And later it turned out that he made the right choice. Because his wife stayed with him even during a crisis at work, but that same girl found herself a rich man the very next day. Make sure your new hobby is worth it.

If you decide to stay in the family, then my articles “” and “” will definitely help you.

If you really can no longer imagine your life without her, then you will have to make a final choice. You won't be able to sit on two chairs. This is dishonest both to the spouse and to the new woman. In any situation, try not to lose your dignity.

You can honestly tell everything to your wife. Explain that you have met the love of your life and do not want to hurt your wife with cheating and lies. But remember that not every woman can withstand such information. Think about whether your spouse can take everything calmly.

If you are not sure, then it is better to simply say that you are unhappy in the relationship and would like to leave. Thank her for everything that happened and try to convince her that you are more likely to be happy apart.

I recommend that you contact a psychologist for more detailed advice who will tell you what to do specifically in your situation. Write the details of your story in the comments and together we will find the most suitable option.

What feelings do you have for your spouse? How long has it been since you had another woman? Have you ever been cheated on?

Life sometimes throws us a difficult situation. Remember that you can even get out of a dead end by at least turning back.
Good luck to you!

You have been married, perhaps for more than a year, routine does its job. Everyone says that it’s time to settle down and live in a “home-work-home” mode, earn money and increase your income. It would seem that this is what will become your further principle, but then she suddenly appeared - and you can no longer help but think about her, looking for any ways to see her. Why does this happen? What to do about it? How to live and behave further? Let's analyze and come to a solution to the current situation together.

I'm married and fell in love with someone else, what should I do?

Let's start with the fact that you are far from the first who, being married, fell in love with another. And to answer the question “what to do?”, let’s figure out why this happened. There may be many reasons, but in the end it all comes down to one thing - you are missing something:

freedom;
personal space;
passions;
love.

According to statistics, there are many more women than men, so there are wives who go everywhere with their husbands, and also try to establish prohibitions: don’t drink; don't go out with friends; don't smoke and stuff.

If this is your case, then your freedom and personal space are simultaneously limited. As a result, you get depressed and nervous. Whether you want it or not, you will subconsciously desire a different attitude towards yourself. That’s why it turns out that he has a wife, but fell in love with a girl who doesn’t limit him.

Now, what about passion and love? I deliberately separated these concepts, since their totality is an ideal, but does not always occur.

By passion I mean sex and everything connected with it. “You guys only need sex!” - I’ve heard this more than once, right? If you heard this from your wife and she said it quite seriously, then things are not too happy. Will explain. The saying that only men need sex is complete nonsense! Women need it to the same extent, if not more. Why doesn't a woman want sex? There are several options:

too “correct” upbringing;
diseases such as frigidity and others;
she is not interested in you as a sexual partner;
fatigue and nerves.

In any case, to solve a problem with sex, you should never remain silent, you need to talk and look for compromises. For example, you lack something in bed, and your wife does not make concessions, the simplest thing is to be offended and quarrel, but will you really get what you wanted in the end? No. Try to come to an agreement, explain why this is unpleasant for you. Or maybe you are asking too much of her? Dialogue will help resolve this issue. What is needed is a calm conversation, it is necessary not only to prove that you are right, but also to be able to listen to her arguments.

You can often hear a story about a man who was married and fell in love with a young woman. Why? Yes, because sex with her is interesting, there is more passion.

Now let's talk about love. Everyday life is capable of destroying even the strongest love, and it is unknown what would have happened to Romeo and Juliet if they had gotten married and lived in marriage. Shakespeare created a story about love that should not have been broken in family life. I am not advocating dying young at all. I want to convey to you that love alone is not enough for a happy life. Wisdom is needed, and both must be wise enough.

So if a person is married, but fell in love with another, then maybe she is simply wiser and is not trying to educate an already formed personality?

We have looked at the possible reasons why you, being married, fell in love with someone else, now let me help you solve this problem.

I have a wife and fell in love with a girl on the side, what should I do?

The very first thing you have to do is decide who to stay with. And this choice will be very difficult, but you can handle it.

To make a decision, you need to weigh everything carefully. You have two women, you live with one and know her very well, the other you know much less. Even if the object of your new love has been familiar to you since childhood, you should not forget that in communication and in everyday life one and the same person is completely different.

The choice will be much harder if you have a wife, although it should not become a hindrance, even if his mother turns him against you, when he grows up, he will understand everything.

If you are married and fall in love with a young girl, then condemnation from the outside is inevitable, as, indeed, in any other case. Try to take criticism from outside as calmly as possible.

Ready to make a choice? Before doing this, answer yourself a few questions:

Which one are you more confident in?
Which one can you rely on?
Who suits you most in sex?
Who do you like best as a hostess?

If each of these questions points to the same woman, it would be wiser to choose her. It’s more difficult to decide when you fall in love with a girl you don’t know well, you haven’t had intimacy, or she doesn’t even know about your feelings. In this case, try testing the waters before making quick decisions. Talk to her as much as possible, invite her to go somewhere together, look at her reaction. I know it will be difficult, but try to soberly assess her reaction to your advances. Very often, people in love see only what they would like to see, wishful thinking, that is, they engage in self-deception. But you are a married man, which means you are experienced, you will succeed.

Maybe stay with my wife?

This is a valid question. It may be better to stay with your spouse, because she has already accepted you for who you are. What will happen to the one you fell in love with? Will she accept you with all your interests, antics, bad habits and so on? It’s not a fact, not all people have similar personalities and not every woman can tolerate banal snoring.

In addition, both men and women can make mistakes and mistake falling in love and fleeting passion for love. What to do in this case? How to find out if this is serious? Time will help here; if you gradually notice that the object of your desire is becoming not so desirable, and other girls begin to interest you, then most likely this is not love. Rather, it is a short-term passion that suddenly flared up. Why did this happen? You and your wife have some problems in your relationship and if you solve them, then you won’t need anyone else.

How to identify and solve the problem? Think about what you don't like most about her? What doesn't she like about you? You probably live a monotonous life - change your surroundings, relax somewhere together. After you have relaxed a little, the conversation will go easier and the problem will be solved.

Should you tell your wife about your crush? If you didn’t cheat, then it’s better not to, not everyone is ready to forgive this. But if an affair on the side ends in an intimate adventure, then there are only two ways out: tell it - and come what may; remain silent, giving yourself up to be devoured by your conscience. It’s up to you to decide, someone can forgive and forget, and someone will never forget, but will be with you, and the worst case scenario is that you will lose your wife because of a fleeting romance. So think about it carefully, is it worth it? Get rid of illusions, think soberly, you can do it.

Well, if you still decide to choose another girl, then try to leave your wife less painfully.

How to leave your wife?

If you have finally and irrevocably decided to leave your wife, you need to act firmly and tactfully, remember that she loves you, believes you and most likely has no idea about anything. Think about how you yourself would react to such news? It will be painful and difficult for her, there is no escape from it.

It won't be easy for you, and even harder for her. Try to mentally prepare her for a serious conversation. Say everything directly, as it really is, speak softly, don’t raise your tone. Most likely, she will cry, be prepared for this, try to calm her down, but don’t be led. Some women, in a fit of hysterics, drag their husbands into bed, trying to “rekindle” their feelings. Don’t deceive yourself, just having sex will not make your old feelings flare up with renewed vigor, you will only make it more painful for both yourself and her.

When the conversation is over, leave, don't hesitate. If possible, take all your things at once so as not to return.

It will be very cool if you remain friends and continue to communicate. But at first, try not to remind yourself. Both you and she need to get used to the new life; constant calls and conversations will interfere with this.

Before the conversation, as well as before making a decision, it is best to talk with a psychologist. It is very difficult to understand even yourself, and in such matters everything needs to be weighed carefully. The help of a specialist will definitely not be superfluous.

New wife: life from scratch

Well, you’ve made a choice, everything worked out for you, you’re happy and breathing deeply again. The feeling of guilt that bothered you at first has disappeared and you can enjoy life again.

However, do you remember what you had to go through? And perhaps you don’t want this to happen again? Then always talk about everything with your wife, don’t hide your resentment and don’t swear, solve everything calmly, look for compromises. Can't do it yourself? Go to a psychologist. And everything will be fine, you'll see. Although if such a situation does happen again, then you know what needs to be done.

And finally. You are a man, you are strong both physically and mentally. You are able to solve any problem, no matter how difficult it may seem. Remember this.

Dmitrii 1310

Hello, my name is Dmitry, I’m 30, and here’s my problem... I’m married, my wife and I have been for 7 years, we have two children, and everything seems to be fine, we live, as they say, like everyone else, but recently something fundamental has happened.. I work at a company and it turns out that we have a lot of girl managers and it so happened that I began to communicate with one of them more than with the others. She was married, has a child, recently divorced and seems to have thrown off a mountain, changed beyond recognition. She began to look better, and boundaries were removed in communication. It was with her that we had pleasant communication. She knows that I am married and I have children, and often talks about it, but I joke and seem to say that all our communication is as if it were friendly... And the more I communicate with her, at work or on abstract topics, the more I understand that I like her as a woman. I understand that after the divorce she doesn’t want to start a new relationship, especially with a married man, she wants to live for herself. But in conversations, words are still uttered that it’s bad no matter how you look without a man. And now I am extremely confused... I did not cheat on my wife and am grateful to her for everything. This is the first time this has happened to me, I like her, just like I liked my wife, before even before the wedding, when we drink coffee in the kitchen at the company, my heart is pounding until it’s about to jump out. I am more than sure that she understands my sympathy for her, but she cannot show reciprocity, because she knows that I am a family man and does not want to destroy my family, since I did not preserve my own. But the question is, what should I do? I love my family, but I can no longer treat this girl as a friend; if I invite her somewhere, it will be the first step towards betrayal, and I understand this with all responsibility. I would be grateful for the advice of specialists on this issue, because they have probably encountered such life situations in their practice. Thank you in advance

Dmitrii 1310

Interesting article, thank you, apparently I have already embarked on this crooked path, betrayal, even if not physically yet, but psychologically. I love my wife... Probably, it was somehow different before, perhaps our relationship was killed, domestic violence. Work, home, children, etc. On her part, I also feel that her feelings have already cooled. Maybe I’m making it all up and I don’t need this “affair” at work? But every time I return home, I think not about my wife, but about that girl. I don’t want to ruin the family, but what to do in such situations, After all, I didn’t even imagine that I would be so strongly attracted mentally and sexually to another woman other than my wife. After all, when I got married these were strong feelings.

I would like to add to the full visibility of the picture, the wife is the same age. We often spend free time with our family, and it would seem fun and happy, but when we come home again everything becomes gray and dull. Sex with her is not emotional, it’s more for show, so that I don’t do or suggest, she doesn’t want anything new, and I don’t insist.

Hello Dmitry. In every couple, over time, feelings cool down: you want something new, brighter, interesting, exciting, and when you know each other inside and out, it is very difficult to discover some moment of novelty in your partner and in interaction with him. That's when attention turns to someone else - as if better than your half. To begin with, you should realize what exactly is missing in the family, what can you potentially get with that girl? Feelings? Sexual experiments? New joint interests? Then you should sincerely discuss this with your wife (since you see that her feelings have cooled). The next stage is joint attempts to correct the situation by learning new things (as an example, agree to take photographs together or read and discuss books, go to exhibitions and cafes, visit an adult store and choose something suitable for both tastes). In the end, any long-term relationship depends on the lack of novelty, so you shouldn’t think that the beginning of a relationship with a girl will remain in the same enthusiastic form for a long time. Try to appreciate what you have, because family is a lot!

Dmitrii 1310

Maria Vinogradova, thank you for your detailed answer, but here the situation is a little different. I talked to my wife more than once, I tried as best I could to gently hint that maybe I could change something, experiment, breathe something new into my life, I even suggested leaving the children with my grandmother and going on vacation, but the response was either hysterical, that I nothing suits me, that she is not beautiful, then tears, words that I stopped loving her, and in the end, in order not to aggravate the situation even more, I just fall silent. She will cry and that’s it... No changes, again a vicious circle, family, children, home work, and again everything is as if everything is as it should be... Minimum emotions, maximum obligations. Sometimes I think of giving her a reason to doubt my fidelity, in order to at least somehow incite changes in the physical and psychological plane, but I’m afraid of ruining everything and generally losing everything... For so many years, I still haven’t learned how to find the key to my wife ...

Feedback about the consultation

Dmitrii 1310

Good advice, but in my case a little different. Like all women, you are protecting your family, but my situation is much deeper, thanks for the advice, I will definitely use it.

Marriage, in the understanding of many people born in the 20th century, is an indestructible whole, in which betrayal is punishable almost by execution. But what to do if you got a ring on your finger at a relatively young age, did not have time to properly try life, and marriage begins to weigh heavily?

The wife nags, the children scream, and the mother-in-law treats him like an idiot. And then the beautiful girl of your dreams appears on the horizon. And it doesn’t matter whether she’s younger or not, more beautiful than your wife or not - she’s just different. It takes you out of everyday life and changes your life completely. Then it happens that a married man falls in love with another woman, having a family behind him. What to do in such a situation for a married person, read in this article.

Before you persuade a girl to sleep with her or even start a serious relationship with her that will interfere or destroy the family, you need to understand what it really is - a desire for a change of scenery or a new deep feeling that will grow into a new unit of society. It is often very easy to confuse a simple passion that can be tolerated or satisfied with your wife and really strong feelings. This is an especially pressing issue during the candy-bouquet period of a relationship, when a guy constantly wants a chosen one for hormonal reasons.

If you don’t want to or for some reason cannot come to a psychologist with the phrase “I’m married but fell in love with another woman,” then you can understand yourself a little with the help of psychological advice.

Blind Passion

Here are a few features that will show that the other person just wants sex and a change of scenery, and not a deep and long-term relationship:

You don’t want to recognize your mistress and it’s not interesting to talk to her, there are no common topics or interests, and her judgments also only cause boredom.
Even if you get to know each other better, there is no moral and intellectual desire: you don’t want to talk to the other person, to get to know her as a person.
You were only attracted by her appearance, you didn’t even really talk to the girl before you started courting.
You sincerely love, but you don’t have sex, or you have it, but it’s very insipid. As time goes by, you become more and more desperate for intimacy.
You don’t want to go home and therefore you often go to bars or other similar establishments, where you met another girl, not being very sober.
She is much younger, and that is what attracts her.
Being married, you decided to cheat only because you want to take revenge on your wife for the unhappy years.

If you recognize yourself in at least one of the listed points, then quickly run to your wife with flowers, forgetting even thoughts about cheating - these are not real feelings. If you respect your soulmate even a little, and also do not want to cause pain and inconvenience to the other girl, then just forget about her and try to restore passion with your spouse, open it from the other side.

If you are married, but suddenly started a relationship and realized that it is a dummy, you should break off any contact with your mistress. It is important to do this very carefully, because in any case it is ugly and bad to hurt the feelings of another person. Especially if it happened that a married man fell in love with a married woman: this is how two marriages suffer at once and the sooner you end this, the better it will be for more people.

It’s worth saying: “Honey, it was wonderful, but a mistake. You are a goddess, but I have responsibilities to my family, and as a man of duty, I cannot continue.”

The question of whether to tell your significant other about cheating is a very controversial one; you must make a decision based on her character. If you are firmly convinced that sincere repentance is necessary for the personal happiness of you and your spouse, then it is better to tell us. If there are doubts that after the truth the relationship will only become stronger, then try to make sure that no one ever finds out about the Fall.

Real feelings

It often happens that a married man seems to be doing well in his family, but he has fallen in love with someone else. Here's how you can recognize a strong feeling:

Close your eyes and imagine sweetheart. Try to imagine it in as much detail as possible. If you immediately imagine only a naked body and cannot remember in detail the face, such small details as eye color or earrings, then this is just lust.
If you can listen to your lady for hours, talk to her about anything and share her interests, and she shares yours, then most likely you are in love.
When you put her interests above yours, these are undoubtedly not easy animal instincts.
This is also love when you worry about the lady of your heart every second, constantly calling or writing to find out how she is.
If you change plans for the sake of a sweetheart and fly to a meeting as if on wings, even knowing that there will be no intimacy, these are sincere romantic desires.
You are in love if you are willing to wait for sex as long as it takes until she is ready.

When you realize that your situation applies to one or more points, then you should seriously think about what to do next: whether to continue the affair or try to forget and save the family for the sake of the children. Everything here is very individual and you should make such decisions only together, because it often happens that the lady of your heart is married herself.

What to do?

First, try to figure out whether you want to build a relationship for many years with a new person. Look at it in everyday life. You won't be satisfied with conversations alone - for general happiness in your life together, you must completely suit each other or be serious about changing for the common good.

If she is a neat person, and you throw things around everywhere and are used to your wife cleaning up after you, the new girl may not tolerate this.

It is important to remember character. If you often quarrel over trifles, do not think that the situation will change dramatically when you leave your legal spouse for another. In everyday life, when sex begins to be monotonous, there will be even more quarrels. If it is difficult for you to coexist separately, then living together will become hell. Domestic squabbles kill love, so maybe you shouldn’t destroy the old one and build a different relationship. Let the young lady become a bright spot in your mature life - love that you will hide and keep secret from the world, and when the time comes, you will simply separate like ships at sea, leaving a slight sadness in each other’s souls.

Even if you understand that you are ready to spend your remaining years with your mistress, then think about your family. If you have children, then they really need a father. Without proper education on his part, they will not grow up to be as good people as they could be. Think carefully about what will be better for those closest to you—meeting your needs or preserving the “unit of society.”

If the wife herself is burdened by the situation, and the children would prefer to live separately so as not to listen to quarrels, then the best solution is divorce.

The spouse will have the opportunity to find a new husband, and if you do not forget about the children and, despite the circumstances and fatigue, devote time to them, then they will not suffer from the divorce of mom and dad.

Mistress's opinion

If you firmly told yourself: “I live with my wife, but I love another and want to build a life with her.” Understand that you cannot make such a decision on your own - no one has the right to decide for others.

If the mistress is married and has children, then it will not be easy for her to start all over again. Perhaps the person you consider the love of your life treats you as entertainment and only wants to be together in bed. It’s hard to accept, but unrequited feelings have tormented many from time immemorial.

If you come across a refusal, but despite this you would like to be together, then seek her hand. There are no shortage of knights in our time, and at the time of the third wave of feminism, women still adore it when they are wooed. Here are some tips on how to keep her and make her yours forever:

Try to become cold. Most of the fair sex will be infuriated by this, and she will give her heart in exchange for affection. Just don't overdo it.
Don't forget to pamper and give gifts.
Be strong and make it clear that you will protect your sweetheart from all troubles and adversities.

And remember: happiness loves the persistent, and water does not flow under a lying stone!