Will a man live with an unloved woman? Some features of life with an unloved person. Some features of a man's life with an unloved woman

By marrying an unloved man, a woman obviously dooms herself to suffering. There are many reasons for this choice. But the consequences are always the same. The woman exhausts herself with vain attempts to love her husband, but in the end she realizes that she is unable to command her heart to love. The best way out of this maze is divorce.

The life of a woman married to a man who is not dear to her heart has several features. Firstly, immediately after the wedding she realizes that there is a stranger next to her. His warmth does not warm him, his smile does not please him, his attempts to get closer cause disgust and disgust.

Secondly, the atmosphere in the house is heating up every day and the best salvation from this is to go to work, preferably 24/7.

Thirdly, a woman who cannot realize her feelings and desires with her husband starts on the side.

In all cases, there is an escape from oneself and one’s life. And no matter what reasons push a woman to marry someone she doesn’t love, she needs to soberly assess her strengths and understand whether she can overcome her feelings and save the family.

Some features of a man's life with an unloved woman

When talking about men, you need to understand that they are unique people. Everyone is individual. Some men are able to live with an unloved person for a long time, others get divorced soon. There are different situations in life. However, we can cite some features of such a man’s life

A man who does not have feelings for a woman is quite capable of cheating and having an affair. Every person's upbringing is different. So, some men may completely lose respect for a woman. Sometimes this affects children (especially if they are from another man).

A man may become harsher and cease to be responsive and kind. When a man has no feelings, a woman begins to feel it. Family scandals are possible, which leads to more frequent irritability of the man and even greater rejection of the family.

Some men. Those who are greedy for alcohol may find solace in alcoholic beverages, while others simply immerse themselves in work.

All these are just some of the features of the lives of people who dare to live with an unloved person. These features may well lead to eventual breakdowns in relationships.

It happens that, after living a couple of years in a happy marriage, a woman discovers that her husband has become indifferent to her and is not interested in her either as a man or as a friend. What is this?

Crisis stage of family life. which one needs to be experienced? Or is love really gone? In any case, you need to understand yourself, because living with an unloved husband is difficult, it can provoke an intrapersonal conflict that will be difficult to deal with.

After two or three years of marriage, the relationship between the spouses changes. Passion and vivid emotions gradually disappear, and completely different feelings take their place. This surprises and frightens many girls; they begin to think that they have stopped loving their spouse. In fact, this is not so, it’s just that love has acquired a different quality, and you need to accept that now your relationship has become stronger and calmer.

There are situations when a woman really stops loving her husband. The reason for this could be resentment and disappointment. This also happens in families after the birth of a child. Cooling rarely occurs on its own. And here the question arises: is it possible to live with an unloved husband? You can live for some time without having any feelings for your partner.

True, this situation is often complicated by the fact that the woman does not want to have sex with the person who has become a stranger to her. This provokes quarrels, misunderstandings and conflicts. Sometimes indifference gives way to irritation and even hatred. This is where mental tossing begins, developing into an internal personal conflict. Women often cannot make a choice: save their family at any cost or leave. And sometimes the cause of internal discord is a lack of understanding whether there are any feelings left towards the spouse. Perhaps the cooling occurred only temporarily?

There is an easy way to check if you still love your spouse. Imagine that he has another woman. How does this make you feel? Or imagine that he left forever for a distant country. Do you want to drop everything and follow him? If you are ready to fight for your husband, to run to the ends of the earth for him, then most likely your relationship has not completely exhausted itself. If you don't care, then the love is gone.

When answering this question, people usually take one of two extreme positions. The first one sounds like this: “This is your fate, be patient.” Adherents of the second point of view urge a woman not to waste her life, not to torture herself and the other person, and to break off relationships.

Both are difficult to achieve. There are situations when the spouse is both gentle and caring, but still there is no love. And leaving him means causing serious injury to a person, offending and insulting him. What to do? First you need to analyze your feelings. If you are still together, what connects you? Perhaps you are concerned about the impact of divorce on your children. Or does your spouse provide for you, are you used to living in comfort and security and do not want to lose such a comfortable life?

Or maybe you still retain gratitude and respect, even if these feelings are hidden for the time being in the hidden corners of your soul? Or is family a cure for boredom and loneliness for you? If you honestly answer these questions for yourself, it will be easier for you to make a choice. Consider your relationships from the height of your global life plans. Think about whether the family, as it is, will help you realize your main dreams? From this point of view, try to make a decision. Emotions and conflicts are unlikely to help you. Before making a choice, you need to stop scandals in the family. if they are, take a break, perhaps leave for a while, if circumstances allow. It will probably be easier for you to understand yourself and your feelings while apart.

And finally, the easiest way to understand how to live with an unloved husband. If, despite everything, you have maintained a trusting relationship with your spouse, then you should just sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk. You may not be able to talk about love, but it should make you feel better. Tell him in a gentle way how you feel, don’t be afraid to offend him.

Your incomprehensible cooling and detachment, which you cannot explain in any way, causes much more pain. Think together if you can somehow change the situation. The main thing is not to blame your chosen one, just

My advice: Remember what they say: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” We are loved exactly as much as we love ourselves. Happiness can only be given by those who force themselves to be happy. After all, it doesn’t depend on anything. I opened my eyes in the morning, thank God for everything I have, for the opportunity to live another wonderful day in this world! To begin with, drive all grievances out of your soul, nothing can be worse, resentment is the worm that sharpens and destroys a person from the inside. Following the insult, anger, irritation, and hatred will settle in the soul. You can only change someone through yourself, and the hardest work is working on yourself. The people around us are a reflection of ourselves, our shortcomings. We just need to learn to see it! If God wants to make us happy, he leads us along the most difficult road, simply because otherwise we would not value so much what comes into our lives.
After living with my husband for nine years, I corrected the most important flaw in myself - touchiness. I was offended so often, I was one step away from a mental hospital, the thought of tightening the noose around my neck, yes. that remembering was not easy. I spent a year of my life learning to forgive and forget, patiently waiting for my husband to mature enough to divorce, so that they would let each other go with kindness. Everything in my life magically began to change, along with how I changed myself, I forced myself to fall in love with myself and be happy every day no matter what!

Married for 6 years. They used to love each other. Now we argue 7 times a day. I would love to get a divorce, but I have nowhere to go. I have a bad relationship with my mother. in other respects, I always think that she is entirely to blame. I'm afraid to ask myself such a question. suddenly I really love you. It’s not that he doesn’t love me, I’m disgusted with him, he criticizes my every move. It's easier for me to hate him. if I let these feelings wash over me he could hurt me every day

I have been living with my husband for 15 years. There are two children. For the last five years I have not been living, but existing. He never indulged in attention before, but now he doesn’t notice at all. It was never just a hug or a kiss. Sex 1-2 times a month. And then I’m always the initiator. He refuses me many times. This topic has already been discussed a million times. He always has some excuses, wants to sleep at night, rushes to work in the morning. She offered to get a divorce, but she doesn’t want to. I don't understand what the reason is. I’m 32. He’s 34. I think my appearance is fine, I take care of myself. Sometimes even strangers. On the street they are pleasantly noticed. I don’t understand how to continue to live like this...

I am 60 years old, I have lived with my husband for 36 years. Children - 4. 3rd created families. The youngest is studying at an architectural institute. I'm scared. I am indifferent to my husband, I realized that I live with an unloved man. While retired, I work as a designer. I like the job. I try to do more work that I love. He annoys me. I see emptiness ahead. Children and grandchildren live separately. No matter what I do, he thinks I'm stupid. Although I like to read and travel. In all these 36 years he has not read a single book, but he has good hearing. We don't understand each other at all. We haven't had sex for a long time. I'm already ashamed. He has diabetes. I feel sorry for him. Over all these years we just got used to each other.

I also had this problem in my life, but I overcame it. True, it took 4 years of my life! But recently I came across this article. I read it and realized that I really did a lot of things wrong. We must live for ourselves.

From my own experience I know that it is quite possible to live normally with an unloved person. Only this understanding came to me late. She was young and when she stopped loving her first husband, she didn’t cheat and got divorced. After a while, she married a second time without great love, but simply to be provided for. And I’ve been living well for 16 years now. Question - well, why did I spend my feelings and nerves for the first time on a person whom I later hated?

Thank you very much for the informative and positive article, we all probably face such problems throughout our lives together. It seems that the feelings have gone away, and the spouse has become a stranger, but around the corner a brighter feeling awaits us. But as statistics show, few people find happiness and joy around that corner. So is it necessary to strive for that turn? After all, this is to cause injury to our beloved halves, our children, and to ourselves no less. Isn’t it better to try to improve relationships in your own family, because family life is always work and creation!

Igorich

Hello! There is no love for my wife, there are no feelings, there has been no sex for a long time, and I don’t want her as a woman. I don’t want to share anything with her, tell her anything, although she reaches out to me, tells me something funny, shares news, but it doesn’t matter what she says. Sometimes I hate her, I often become very irritated by her appearance or some questions. I went on vacation with the children for two months, I thought I’d rest and everything would work out, yes, the irritation went away, while I was living on my own, everything was somehow different, I felt happy, I wanted to live, to do something. And I realized that I liked it, I was so comfortable alone, I didn’t want any relationship, my soul sang, you might say.
And now is the day when they should arrive. I did the cleaning, washed the windows in the apartment, prepared a meal, hoping for the happy eyes of my wife, hoping that everything should change for the better. Alas, I didn’t appreciate it, everything is wrong, everything is wrong, and in general I don’t do anything like a man and that was the last straw... I said everything, I’m tired, I say, I can’t live with you anymore, I don’t see the need for you, I’m with you it’s bad, I’m getting a divorce, I say find yourself someone worthy, I want to live alone, I don’t need any women, I can completely take care of myself. I persuaded her not to get a divorce, at least for the sake of the children; my daughter loves me very much while we live together. I don’t want to go home from work just to avoid seeing her. There was a very strong hatred towards her. I myself am beginning to wonder whether she can really be satisfied with all this, can a girl continue to live when she is not loved, not noticed, not listened to. I don’t refuse children, I would also help, alimony... And she’s happy with everything, but in general I look at her and it seems like nothing is happening for her at all, as if everything is normal, as if this is how it should be. What do you say, isn’t this the end, is it possible to continue living like this? We've been married for 15 years together. Children: son 12 years old and daughter 3 years old.

Igorich

I am 35, my wife is 34. Due to frequent scandals, reproaches, disputes, I have ceased to be interested in asserting what I myself do not understand. The tone is orderly, commanding, most often when you are in a bad mood. “So, I got up and went to wash my cup,” for example. Gradually I came to understand that this is not a wife, a wife should not be like that. With my daughter, too, everything is in an orderly tone, the daughter herself is already beginning to copy her, giving orders, which makes her heart hurt, realizing that she is growing up like her mother.

Igorich

Now probably no, I think if a man can serve himself, there is no need for a wife. Temporary, non-binding meetings for sex and that’s enough. Lost faith in all women. It's like a consumable. I don’t believe in love, I don’t believe in anything anymore, and I wouldn’t try to start a new relationship.

What do you think a wife should be like? And most importantly - what are your desires?

And most importantly - what are your desires?

Good evening. What is your main request to a psychologist?

The desire to separate peacefully. And as soon as possible, while she is young and beautiful, she can find herself a man. But I want this to be by mutual agreement.

Igorich

Honestly, for me the ideal couple is the one who accepts each other as they are. And not the one that forces each other to change, why torture each other. Yes, you change, for a while, but for a long time you won’t be able to imagine yourself to others, everything will return to normal

Honestly, for me the ideal couple is the one who accepts each other as they are.

Love is blind, you will love and...

Why do the feelings of two people who once loved each other change over time?

Often women complain about their husbands and their difficult fate - they don’t love their husbands, but for some reason they continue this relationship, they suffer from their own dissatisfaction, but they don’t want to change anything.

Why and why do women start relationships with men for whom they have no feelings?

Reason one: fear of loneliness

The fear of being alone, not needed by anyone, can be laid down in early childhood. There are many reasons: her parents divorced, and her father left not only the family, but also her life, her mother abandoned her or paid little attention to her, caring more about younger children, etc. Having become an adult, a girl will already subconsciously experience the fear of being abandoned, and in order to avoid this, she will be ready to start a relationship with any man who has met her in life.

All these fears lead to low self-esteem; as a result, it is difficult for a woman to believe that she deserves much more. As a result, she will not look for the man of her dreams (due to the absence of this image), she will be ready to give her heart to the first man who shows interest in her.

When you began to realize that you do not have any feelings for your partner, but are only trying to avoid loneliness in this way and therefore are ready to endure all this, then you must understand only one thing - this is your life and only you have the right to dispose of it as you wish, and if If something doesn't suit you, you can change everything. And the first thing you need to do is increase your own self-esteem.

Reason two: my friends and parents are fascinated by him

While caring about the happiness of our family and friends, we often forget about ourselves. By doing something in your life and constantly looking around and listening to the opinions of others, you are putting your happiness in their hands, and dooming yourself to a life without love. This is especially important if the issue concerns your personal relationships.

You should know that when choosing a partner for yourself, you will have to live with him, but not like your mother or best friend. Fearing that your choice will not be approved by those close to you, ask yourself: what will happen if you make your own decision? Will your relationship deteriorate? Then all these people never loved you, if you are dear to them, then they should respect your choice, accept your decisions, whether they like it or not. People are selfish by nature, it’s time for you to acquire this quality and start taking care of yourself.

Reason three: addiction

Alas, we live in a society, which means we all depend on each other to one degree or another. Dependence can be business, financial, housing, sexual, etc. When you allow a man who is unpleasant for you to pay for you, then he begins to control your life, you become for him a thing that he bought. If your choice is conscious, then you get what you were striving for. It’s worse when circumstances force a woman to get into such a relationship.

There is always a way out of any situation, only a few want to see it. If you want to change your life, determine for yourself what this addiction is. Money? Find yourself a job that will allow you to have financial independence. Housing? Again, find a job that will allow you to rent an apartment. General business? Separate your responsibilities or simply divide your business. The law of balance operates in nature - in one place you lose, in another you gain more.
Remember, you dreamed of something as a child, maybe it’s time to realize your dreams, and not wait for someone else to do it for you.

Reason four: revenge on your loved one

The desire for revenge is a powerful argument for ruining not only your own, but someone else’s life. You are not the first and you are not the last to have your heart broken and hurt very much, but is this a reason to further destroy your life and deprive yourself of the right to happiness? Maybe your loved one has realized everything and is ready to fix everything, but you stubbornly do not want to give either him or yourself such a chance, and continue to live with the unloved person. This is exactly the case when loneliness is your best friend, you will have time to understand yourself and understand what you want in this life.

Time heals any wounds - and when you are ready to meet new love again, it will certainly come. And your stupid “to spite him” will come back to you like boomerangs.

Reason five: loneliness is not fashionable

This was invented by women who themselves are unhappy in marriage, in this way they try to justify their own mistakes. Nowadays, an independent and confident woman is respected. Such women know their worth, and they are ready to wait for their real man.

Learn to love and trust, first of all, yourself. And then the people around you will also treat you with love. Loneliness is not always a bad thing.

Material - http://man-woman.com.ua

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You can't live with people you don't love.
Living with people you don't love is dangerous.
After all, sliding along the edge of a lie,
You will get hurt, and in vain
You'll blame the sky later
In what hurts you and in blood
you will sprinkle someone else's thread,
What connected you not with you...
And so through the centuries
Women and men roam
A river... flows past... life...
Different consequences of one cause.

This amazing poem was written by Lyudmila Yachmeneva...

What pushes women into marriage with an unloved man? If we talk about external reasons, the answer is obvious: firstly, the instinctive need to start a family and give birth to a child. No matter how highly organized creatures we are, instincts have power over us, and therefore nature sometimes “demands” procreation.

Not every woman manages to “agree” with this requirement. But love still did not happen or failed, another did not come for it. And if a woman is already approaching 30 or over 30, then she often begins to think that maybe nothing is worth waiting for. As a rule, the candidate for husband is the one who is in love with a woman and is wooing her, or the one who considers her simply suitable and strong feelings are not necessary.

Medicine has long proven that women who are forced for some reason to live with an unloved person sooner or later get a whole bunch of diseases. All of them belong to the category of psychosomatic: hypertension, stomach ulcers, bronchial asthma...
It is difficult to imagine a person who dreams of going through life with an unloved man or with an unloved woman (marriages of convenience do not count). But here’s a paradox: situations where it’s not the most dear person, but a “friend or foe” person, happens all the time. And it doesn’t matter where it all began - with delusion, passion or love - if the bottom line is only a bitter aftertaste of the words “not mine.”

1.Lack of self-confidence

2. Unwillingness or inability to solve everyday problems

During a divorce, many questions arise: from where to live, to redrawing the budget and division of property. Financial dependence is especially painful for housewives with small children, who cannot count on a large share of property or help from loved ones. However, any move down the social and property ladder is a big blow to one’s pride. It is always easier for passive people with a dependent mentality to remain silent and endure family troubles.

3. Guilt and pity

The calm character of the spouse, his forgiveness and boundless love may well become a reason for self-flagellation like “He (she) is an angel, and I am a heartless bastard.” True, over time, even boundless love can cause dull irritation if it is associated with scandals. And if men more often feel guilty before their wife, parents or children, then women are more inclined to feel sorry only for their partner and imagine him weaker than he really is.

4. Dependence on public opinion

The word “lonely” in our society is akin to the stigma of being a loser. Therefore, it is not surprising that many marriages do not break up only because of the opinion of the mythical “Marya Alekseevna” - a hundred-headed monster with heads in the form of relatives, colleagues, friends and gossips under the entrance. Here everyone chooses for themselves what is better: maintaining the deceptive image of a happy family man or starting to create it from scratch.

5. Common children

Children usually have a hard time with the separation of mom and dad. But, having matured, they often reproach their parents, who pulled the hateful burden of marriage, precisely because they did not divorce in time. Staying with an unloved person just for the sake of a child is wrong. Children perfectly sense the depth of the gap between their parents, receive a distorted picture of family values ​​and, in addition, can then feel guilty for their unfortunate fate.